We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation… – Florence Scovel Shinn

I cannot always control my thoughts. But I can decide to stop moving.

I cannot always control my thoughts. But I can decide to sit down.

I cannot always control my thoughts. But I can close my eyes, and begin to breathe.

This, is the repetition of a meditation practice.

Air air air….breath in, breath out….air…..molecules dancing…breath….sigh……ahhhhh~~~

I cannot control my thoughts but i decide to smile. Another breath….

In and out…

Smiling.

Already lighter. Already freer. Resting. Feeling the edges of gratitude….

There are a thousand distractions but no excuses.

Our new baby parakeets are chirping wildly. Ruby is on the couch on headphones, listening to music – laughing out loud to songs I cannot hear. The washer is going (a load of darks). Our housemate Gabby moves in and out, she’s watching Rome in the front room and I can hear Roman soldiers shouting faintly. There are lots of other things to do besides sit down and meditate for 30 minutes. (It’s usually 10, 15, 20 at the most.)

There are a million reasons but no excuses.

I can either choose to make the time to meditate or not. Today I choose to make the time. And it is hard, but it feels good…..

Why is it hard? I’m smiling again. Why IS IT HARD??

I really want to know.

My friend Kathe says “whatever gets in the way of the work is the work”.  Whatever it is about meditation that’s hard is the work and it is my job and my job alone to find out what that work is…

Wait a minute…maybe I’m hitting upon it now…meditation is hard, (and I mean hard) for most of us because it allows for the surfacing of the deep soul work we often have left to do in order to feel joy. If we felt joyful or peaceful all the time, there wouldn’t be much ‘spiritual’ work to do…we would already BE there, and perhaps meditation’s sweet, steady polishing of the soul would not really be necessary. I don’t know. But for most of us…there is still quite a bit…to …um…er…”work through” daily.

No, *sigh*, we don’t always feel joyous, or peaceful or accepting of ‘”what is”; how can we of course, with all we have going on, with all that the world has going on, and yet…and yet, in spite of everything, or maybe because of everything…shouldn’t we try to get there?

Don’t we owe it to ourselves?

Time passes. Ruby asks me how to spell something. Breathing.

In my quiet inner mind’s eye something shifts and in the ‘sinking into being” I begin to feel carried…supported by the Breath, the Life force, the Universe, Breath – the only God i really know of for certain…

Meditation creates an inner confidence that allows us to relax into the embrace of the Universe.

Meditation creates an inner confidence and peace that is then in turn, supported by the Universe, because in the quiet of beingness we AUTOMATICALLY join the great flow, the river that runs through us, every single one of us, every moment, for all eternity. In this river there is no Time. There is no Loss. There is only Everything that ever was, Everything that is, and Everything that ever will be. And for all of this, there is only Love.

In meditation I realize that there is NO NEED to be covetous of time, or love. Of attention or recognition. I have everything I need to be able to love the world with my whole heart.

Everything I need to love everything.

That’s all.

And it is

so

much.

xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxoxoxox:)


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